Love In Every Bite: How a Tantra-Inspired Love Coach Can Help Ruin Your Valentines Day (In the Best Way)

“I love watching you eat,” he said to me last night on a date. “You truly savor every bite.”

It’s true.

My best friend growing up used to tell me I should be a food writer given the monologue (and sometimes song) that would burst forth upon eating or discovering cuisine I loved.

I love to savor.

I love love.

I love space for experiencing multitudes in a single moment.

But with food, it’s easier.

With Life Herself, the savoring comes harder.

As a perfectionist, the same girl who wrote multi-verse songs about tacos, had full on meltdowns over the faces on lion-frosted cupcakes not perfectly mirroring the recipe photo.

I wanted to get it just right.

And as many perfectionists know well, acceptance, though a nice practice for monks and the easily satisfiable, has no place in our vocabulary while en route our self-crafted mountains (whose peaks are always just a couple steps beyond the clouds.)

Savoring and acceptance have both felt challenging over the years for me. In particular, in the aftermath of my brothers suicide, and in processing my collective rage and personal sorrow around the oppression of the feminine in all beings and our world systems, religions and philosophies.

I want more from life.

I want more from love.

I want more from and for my self,

from and for the earth,

from and for the abundance sitting dormant in each of us.

I found the study of sexuality & relationships from a tantric-approach along my journey of staying intimate with my deep dissatisfaction.

Tantra, literally meaning “woven together,” opened the door to a philosophical tenant of life that “all is sacred.”

Playing with the energy of Tantra after seeking tirelessly for the right “recipes” and “rules of life,” has been a great disrupter,

a breath,

a permission I did not know I needed.

Tantra offered philosophy.

Embodiment Healing, tapping into mind, body, breath, emotion, energy and their inter-connection, welcomed renewed relationship to self and experiences eI had written off as the antithesis of love:

my aching desire for more,

my relentless rage,

my unknowing,

and even violence and its aftermath.

Tantra and embodiment work is not about excusing pain, but rather inviting intimacy with it, with all of life, and locating the wisdom there.

Over the last 12 months of exploring Tantric philosophy and holistic practices for mind/body integration work in sexuality, love and relationships, I have begun to hold profound space for myself and others to be in reverence of, and openness toward the wisdom of deep discomfort and pain.

As a pleasure coach, I welcome people into delight where “no pain no gain” dominates, and into the wisdom of pain where “toxic positivity” has holds its grip.

From here, true choice is birthed.

So here is the invitation on a day where love is reduced to all things pink, red and sweet:

Can you welcome the feminine wisdom that “messes” up plans, exposes shadow, surfaces authentic emotion, intuits deeper expression… and truly listen?

Intimacy with pain is disruptive.

But intimacy without pain, is inauthentic.

A new standard of love starts with each of us — will you let yourself be disrupted enough to find it?

This is the choice:

To suffer silently or to love authentically, in all its rage, grief and also pleasure, power and depth?

We each have the choice to make.

Can you make space for a knowing, deep within,

of a truth I cannot name for you —but you can?

It may ruin the day, but in the long run… only in the best way.

On this Valentines day, let love lead you, in whatever voice it speaks.

My name is Libby.

I am a woman, an artist, a coach, a “Creatrix;” a divine feminine authoress, or creator of life. I hold space to help people tap into their deep intuitive, creative knowing, heal sexuality, and embrace the life they are ready to co-create with themselves, others, and the earth.

I write this small letter on Valentines Day, as a a gentle reminder to savor, to stay unsatisfied, and to sit in the contradiction of both.

Love lives here.

Be brave.

You are a unique expression of love exactly as you are.

To book an embodied healing and tantric-inspired coaching session: https://calendly.com/liberatory or visit lib-hof.com